Resurrection Power

I'm not getting spiritual on anybody here. I believe that I will be resurrected one day. What!?! You may say. Well, here's the deal: if we're here for 70 or so years and we're gone, and that's totally it, then all of life is a sham. Seventy years is nothing compared with not living - not even existing - for an infinite number of days in the future.

Wow. That feels messed up to think about. Yeah, think about it for a minute. Have you ever done that? I do it too often probably. I think about what it would be like to not exist. To not be.

I have to believe in resurrection because it's the only way for me to not be depressed about eminent death. It knocks at the door for us all and there seems to be no way to stop it. I recently tweeted out a couple things regarding life and death - actually, more about how to live... (You have to read the bottom one first.)

So I asked myself the same questions. Here's what I've decided:

1. Yep, I'd do a few things differently.

Here's what I *would* do:

• Buy that really sweet acoustic guitar I've always wanted but never thought I could afford.
• Buy a vintage tube amp and jam on it. Cranked.
• Write music. A lot. Then I'd record it.
• Go on a trip to somewhere cool with my family.
• Buy an iPhone.
• Listen to music constantly.
• Make my wife take off a couple weeks of work.
• Finally get that Last Will and Testament written up :)
• Take lots of pictures.
• Eat a lots of pizza.
• Go for a run or hike or something.
• Say goodbye. Probably have a party.
• Be really scared.
• Read the Bible.
• Share with people about what I think living is all about.
• Blog about what it's like to know exactly when you're going to die.

And here's what I *wouldn't* do:

• Waste my time watching movies or TV shows (you know deep down it's just a waste of time)
• Put off saying sorry.
• Get upset at my boy for stupid stuff.
• Worry about backing up hard drives.
• Record other peoples' music (sorry currently scheduled friends)
• Teach guitar lessons (sorry students! you know I love ya!)
• Try to meet the grim reaper early.
• Check my Facebook wall.
• Exercise rigorously.

And so, I hope to be resurrected one day. Why? Because I don't want to die. And I have to hope - because the alternative is terrifying.

Here you have it. The resurrected blog. About stuff that I think matters. Because talking about anything else is just like vegging out in front of the box. Get out. Do something. Be intentional. Stop reading my blog.

More posts coming soon, as I see fit.

You can follow me on Twitter, too: @jaymathesmusic

When it's All Worth it

Raising kids is hard. It's a complicated process that never ends - not even when they're "grown up" and out of the house. That's because as we teach our children, we're also ourselves learning how to teach them. And every lesson taught - and learned - or re-taught and re-learned - is again another new lesson - because the circumstances have changed: you're older, the child is older, the day's events are different, and every variable is different. The weather is different, too!

Raising kids is complicated - not just because it is - but because it's what we call life. Life is complicated. There are new variables every single day. You can't even perform the same, simple task the same way from one day to the next. Take a less simple task as an example: you learn to walk as a toddler. Then you run. Then you gain speed and mobility. You train. You run further, faster, longer. Then you get older. You lose some of your edge. And sometimes, you lose your ability to run at all. Or even walk. You can't approach running in the same way from one day to the next because you're not the same person from one day to the next. Life changes. It's one of only two constants*.

But here's the deal: some of the most memorable moments in the last six years of my feeble existence have been spent with my children. Those moments almost always relate to something they've done - a laugh, a tumble, a word or sentence, a mess.

These moments make you realize that yeah, as cliche as it sounds, you wouldn't trade your kids or these hard days for the world. Psalm 127:3. This post has made me start to think about some of those moments in my own life, going as far back as I can remember. I think I'm going to try to compile a list of them and post them here over the next year or so. (It will take a while to remember them, to think through the years, and I don't want to miss any.)

If you're wondering what that picture is in this post, it's my son's bedroom after he decided to remove all of his books from the bookshelf.

We're Here to Help

I met with a friend today whom I hadn't seen in months - probably close to four. His wife had a baby about eight weeks ago, and 12 weeks ago, my wife had a baby, and 16 weeks ago, my family moved a half hour away from where we used to live. It makes spending time with former friends difficult and many times, just plain unmanageable. But not today.

So his wife just had a baby; and, just like me, he's a stay-at-home dad (whatever that means). It's not the easiest road to travel, and now my friend and I can empathize with each other and those dads around the country who stay at home during the day and make less money that their wives.

We concluded our time together, our babies in hand, by me saying a few words of encouragement and praying for him. The main point I wanted to drive home was that we'd always be available to him and his wife if they needed to talk, bounce ideas off of us, hang out, pray with or for them, or otherwise agonize together as parents.

Megan and I want to be known as doers of friendship, not just lip service friends. We want you to know that if there is anything we can do for *you*, we're here to help.

When I'm Not Me

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:CrayonLogs.jpg

Over the past month, I've had conversations with two different friends about what it means to be "me" - whoever you are. We all came to the same conclusion:

One thing that makes you you is that you find special satisfaction in doing a particular type (or types) of work. You've been uniquely gifted, and if you're not regularly exercising those gifts, you're acting contrary to how you were created to act.

Those gifts could be anything: dancing, typing, editing, marketing, talking with people, building, designing, writing, punching or crunching numbers, analyzing, caring for someone, snapping a picture, digging holes, driving, teaching, learning - whatever. The thing is, sometimes your desired vocation doesn't turn out to be your occupation - at least for a particular season in life. But hang in there. I say that as one who struggles with this very thing.

Just to clarify: vocation is just one part of who we are. It isn't the whole person. It's not even the most important part of the whole. But it's a part that gets over-emphasized in countries like the USA.

I Don't HAVE to, I GET to

I love my family.

Sometimes they're difficult. Sometimes they prevent me from doing the things I love to do. But this is all just a part of life, isn't it? Anything can cause us difficulty or keep us from having fun, etc...

I think I'm learning that when you truly love, you're choosing to be in pain - as you love. Here's why:

Love is sacrificial - self-giving, other-oriented, not selfish at all. What does selfishness look like? Putting your desires above the desires of those you love, and when you don't get what you want, you make a big stink about it. (Keep in mind, love isn't one-way - it happens in relationship, so both people have to be giving of themselves, and sometimes it works out that someone is sacrificially loving you - you're the receiver.)

Next, when you hang your heart on the line - when you love - you're bound to be let down by the people you love. People suck. People hurt the people they love the most. Why? They don't really do it on purpose. It's a product of the fact that we spend the majority of our time with the people we love the most. People are prone to act contrary to the way they were originally designed to act (in perfect love).

Now here's how this post relates to my title:

A selfish man would say, "I have to stay home with my children during the day, so my wife can work a steady job." A loving man would say, "I get to stay home with my kids..." I'll be honest. I'm definitely feeling somewhere in between today. Of course, it's because I'm not perfect and I struggle with selfishness - probably more than the next man! But you can't say I'm not trying to work on or figure out how to fully, truly say "I get to..."

Also, my kids are cute. Seth in the leaves and Eleanor with wide eyes.

What All Great Music Does

Life is never what we expect.

Curve balls are thrown. Your dad gets cancer. You don't end up with the career you always envisioned. Your almost 30 and still single. You feel pressured to achieve the unachievable - the unidentifiably unachievable.

This is what life is.

Life is messy. Life is full of disappointments. Life is imperfect. Broken. Difficult. Desperate.

But great music can help.

There is one thing that all great songs have in common: they fill us with a sense of longing for a perfect, eternal future. They remind us that a glorious future is possible. They even contain within them a glimmer of that reality, and for a few, brief moments, we can be there. In that moment. At peace.

Music helps me to continue living.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately: what does it mean to be human? I think it means exactly what I've already described about the human experience: you feel disappointment and long for unattainable fulfillment. Or is it unattainable?

Many of my friends call me spiritual. Few call me religious.

I'd say if ever there were a need to believe in God it would be because we humans know that this unquenchable longing can not be satisfied by what we do, have, or accomplish. History has shown us that our deepest human desires can't be fulfilled by our own achievement. Time and again people "at the top" are the hardest to fall. They seemingly have everything and yet, they lose it all - and eventually, die like the rest of us. Have your actions, relationships, or possessions brought you perfect fulfillment yet? I'm guessing not.

We have to believe God exists. Without Him, we are utterly without hope of having our longings fulfilled. We already know we can't make it happen ourselves.

And I'd say that if ever there were a reason to believe that God can actually do it - can actually placate my (and your!) frenzied hunger - its because when I listen to great music - in that oh so small, fleeting moment, that's exactly what actually happens. I feel redeemed.

God exists because an unquenchable longing exists in our hearts that can't be satisfied by human activity - and we have to believe that this longing can be satisfied by something out of this world. And God is in fact able to do it because he gives us pieces of that satiety through music.

Do I think there's more to the story? Oh yeah. By grace, I'm trying to learn more of it every day.

Blurb from My Latest Newsletter

I don't do this - ever, but I thought it would be good for you all to hear, if you haven't already read it in my latest newsletter... This is a cut and paste from the email I sent out to my music mailing list just a couple days ago, on August 26, 2011 (by the way, if you're not already on it, please sign up for my mailing list at http://jaymathes.com, filling out the mailing list form on the right side of the page, towards the top):

WHERE I'VE BEEN, WHERE I'M GOING

In just a few, short weeks, I will be the father of two, beautiful children. Having kids makes you think, and, paradoxically, gives you less time. Maybe what really happens is you just think better with what little time you have to think.

I've put in a lot of time - and money - into my music over the years. (I just realized that this past February marked the 10-year anniversary of the release of my album, Leave it All Behind.) Don't worry. This isn't a break-up letter.

I'm not losing steam - just trying to evaluate things. What I can say is that I'm even more inspired today by life than I ever have been. I can't help but write and perform. And I'm also even more excited by what I call a genuine musical experience. What I long to see in other recording artists - and what I long to show to you - is a picture of who the artist really is - not some projected image - some amalgamation of marketing tactics and strategies.

In an effort to better show you who I am, I'm going to continue doing what I do: writing music that comes from my heart, my experiences, and reflects who I am and how I feel. I might blog less. I might tweet more. I might be on Facebook less. I will write more music. I will post that music online. I will beg and ask for your support of that music.

Music keeps me going. If I lost my hearing, I'd self-combust.

Thanks for your support, and come on out on 9/4 if you can!

-Jay

Thoughts on the John Mayer Q and A at Berklee

If you're a songwriter and you haven't read this yet, check it out:

http://www.berklee-blogs.com/2011/07/john-mayer-2011-clinic-manage-the-temptation-to-publish-yourself/

It seems as though Mr. Mayer has gotten a hold of himself and regained some serious perspective on life, music, and success. I've always had respect for the man's music and guitar playing, but he hit a serious low last year with his quest for the Joshua Tree of... Just look up his Rolling Stone interview if you have no idea what I'm talking about. Actually, one more thing about his music: using the word "respect" to describe how I feel about his music would be an understatement. I would say he's one of my top 10 favorite artists of all time, actually. I wish that artists more often lived how their music sounded. Is it too much to expect the writers of extraordinary music to live extraordinarily virtuous lives?

Maybe not.

But this time around, I think Mayer has reformed some of his previous errors.

The biggest take-aways from this short interview/article are Mayer's comments on social media. Mayer admits that this crap is addicting, distracting, and creatively worthless.

I've heard one artist, when asked "How did you get to where you are today?" say, "I just turned off the T.V." What he was getting at is that media is a distraction and, ultimately, it is a progress killer.

Does anybody find it ironic that I'm blogging about this topic?

Finding Significance in Your Work

It might come to a surprise to some of you, but the majority of songwriters and music artists struggle to earn enough money to make ends meet. That means that the majority of songwriters often find themselves employed doing work completely unrelated to their music. And I think that's okay - for a season.

For my own part, I've spent several hours this past week trying to drum up new business, new gigs (music- and non-music related), and I've come to one [I think] very important conclusion: wherever you work, and whatever you do, it has to be "work worth doing":

"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing."

- Theodore Roosevelt.

If your current job is just a job or just a way to pay the bills, I'd suggest seeking new employment. Why? Because jobs like that burn people out. These are positions that are a part of the modern corporate machine, but don't really add value to our or any other peoples' lives.  Some might say, "Yeah, but these things have to be done by somebody." And to that I say, "You're right." But why should it be done by you? Find something else where you *know* you are adding value to society - not just to your 401k.

Life is too short to be somebody's tool. I want to be a tool for change.

Luck and the Art of Waiting

Waiting isn't exactly the same thing as trusting in something to happen.

One of my favorite college professors (his name was Jun) once said that luck isn't being in the right place at the right time, it's putting yourself in a position to be in the right place at the right time.

And I believe him. If we're just talking semantics.

I actually don't believe in luck at all, which is why I made my first statement about waiting. I actually think that a better way to describe my professor's idea of luck is to call it "active waiting". You see, it's knowing (or trusting) that something is going to happen if you just keep going for it. You take steps that move you forward, and sometimes, if you're going the right direction, you'll hit opportunities that can push you even higher.

This is in contrast to just plain ol' "waiting", which means that you're sitting on your keister and still expecting something to happen. And you'd be right - something will: you'll get fat, dumb, anti-productive, and altogether zombified by that glowing box you sit in front of.

So as for me, I find myself in a season of active waiting. Actually, I can't remember a time when I haven't been in this sort of a season. I expect big things to happen and I am actively engaged in trying to make them happen. But I don't think they'll happen because of what I do. Does that make sense? Ultimately, I think they'll happen because they were destined to. (And yes, I do believe in destiny; but not the kind that is most common today, in our culture.)

It's a really uncomfortable place to be, but isn't all of life really uncomfortable anyways? Isn't it better to actually be able to identify the discomfort and just deal with what you believe to be going on through it all? I think so.

Excerpt from "I Asked the Lord" by John Newton

....I hoped that in some favored hour,
At once He’d answer my request;
And by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part....

Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
“’Tis in this way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith.

"These inward trials I employ,
From self, and pride, to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”

Thanksgiving Blues

What were you thankful for this year? Were you thankful for all the things you should have been thankful for?

For my own part, I can say that this was just an off year... I found it hard to be thankful. I am thankful, of course, but I definitely didn't show it like I usually do, and I definitely didn't feel thankful like I normally do.

I have been given so many things - stuff that I don't deserve. A good family, a roof over my head, food to eat, access to education, clean drinking water, and lots and lots of "stuff" - material possessions. Very little of this do I actually need. Most of these things are just bells and whistles - to make life easier, more convenient, more entertaining, or whatever.

At the end of the day, we should be thankful for everything, but most thankful for the essentials - the things we can't live without. This year, I have found myself asking for help to want to want to be thankful - mostly for the essentials:

Oh, when I come to die
Oh, when I come to die
Oh, when I come to die
Give me Jesus