Excerpt from "I Asked the Lord" by John Newton

....I hoped that in some favored hour,
At once He’d answer my request;
And by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part....

Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
“’Tis in this way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith.

"These inward trials I employ,
From self, and pride, to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”

Thanksgiving Blues

What were you thankful for this year? Were you thankful for all the things you should have been thankful for?

For my own part, I can say that this was just an off year... I found it hard to be thankful. I am thankful, of course, but I definitely didn't show it like I usually do, and I definitely didn't feel thankful like I normally do.

I have been given so many things - stuff that I don't deserve. A good family, a roof over my head, food to eat, access to education, clean drinking water, and lots and lots of "stuff" - material possessions. Very little of this do I actually need. Most of these things are just bells and whistles - to make life easier, more convenient, more entertaining, or whatever.

At the end of the day, we should be thankful for everything, but most thankful for the essentials - the things we can't live without. This year, I have found myself asking for help to want to want to be thankful - mostly for the essentials:

Oh, when I come to die
Oh, when I come to die
Oh, when I come to die
Give me Jesus

Late Nights Can Kill You

I've been spending so much time at the computer again that my forearms are starting to bother me again. I feel like I already mentioned that in a recent post, some time in the last month. As you can tell by the time of this post, it's because I'm getting in to the groove late at night, after my family has gone to bed. I've found that my most productive "computer work" comes after hours, if you will. It sucks, but it's the only time that I have, really.

But, alas, the time has come to go to bed. Goodnight, computer. I will see you tomorrow evening. Until then, I know that others will caress your pretty back-lit keys, but please don't enjoy it, okay? If you can muster up any sort of passionate desire within your uni-body frame, may it only be for the soft pressing of my very fingertips over all of your buttons.

The Official Blog Title Change!

Inspired, once again, by a songwriter that I really respect, Josh Ritter, I decided to change the name of this blog. To be a Josh Ritter copy-cat? No way. Just because I didn't want the name to be something so obvious. The previous title of this blog was "What It's Like" and what could be more obvious than the fact that blogs are about "what it's like to be..." [fill in the blank with whatever it is that you do and why you think people care to hear about what you do every day]...

So there you have it. Boom. New blog name: "Fine Lines and Hidden Spaces".

And you may ask yourself, "Self, where did Jay come up with that name?" Well, without giving it all away, I'm working on a new song with this lyric in it.

Crying Babies

Today, for the first time in a long time, I have a serious problem with the sound of a crying baby.

Moving to Brooklyn

Manhattan Bridge. Photo by: Daniel Hautamaki (http://www.danielhautamaki.com)

So, over the past few days, I've been talking to a buddy of mine who lives in Brooklyn with his wife. He is really convincing. He thinks I should move to NYC pronto. We're seriously considering the option. It's a great community with a thriving arts scene, awesome food, at least one, really good church, and a boatload of opportunity - in all sorts of areas: work, culture, spiritual, community. We will see... Only time will tell.

Selling a Piece of Family History

Today I asked my mom if she'd be okay with us selling her father's 1960's Wurlitzer organ, that has been sitting unused and neglected in my parents' basement. Selling the organ is not new news, but the reality of selling it finally hit her when I told her this morning that we might have a prospective buyer.

I understand the sentimental ties to the organ. I feel them, too, even though I was a wee young lad when my grandfather died. I have no memory of him prior to his first stroke. But I also understand that, as life runs its course, all things come to an end; and all things pass on, move on, continue on - life continues as life dies.

And so, to me, the organ is better in the hands of another, as we say goodbye to something that was useful to us at one time, long ago, and brought our family such joy, but has now laid dormant for over a decade. We recognize that to give it to someone else means that the organ actually increases in value - not decreases - as others are allowed to make memories with it and it becomes a part of others' lives.

Saying goodbye to an organ doesn't mean saying goodbye to the memories created by it.